[Fear is a category of emotion with which Nill has extensive experience. Before Heine had saved her, it had been her entire life; after, her existence had still been punctuated by it, but she had at least been able to go about her day-to-day business rather normally. The underground church, though certainly a sanctuary, was still both a blessing and a curse. Bad people knew where to find them, even if the fear of "white hair and eyepatch" generally kept them away. Still, the prickling of panic always reminded her of where she'd come from and where she could end up again.
This kind of fear, however, is on an entirely new level. Had she been able to cry out, she would have--instead, when Nill wakes up in the strange room with the red dirt, her wings flap and she chokes on the dust that clogs her silent throat. Hands grip her arms, hauling her to her feet and towards a light. Fear is overpowering, and she tries to get her legs to move, to rip herself from their grasp and find a place to hide.
Not again, never again, you can't have me, please let me go--
But her limbs won't listen to her pleading thoughts. She's forcibly washed and dressed, and all she can do is try to resist with screaming muscles and stiff wings. Only when she's approached face-to-face, sees eyes that mean no harm and hold even a hint of sympathy, does she finally stop struggling. Partially because she's so caught off guard, and partially because she's simply too tired to keep up the fight.
The mother and child put her at a strange sort of ease, and she blearily watches the woman's arms move, sees that text is appearing on the device she'd been handed. The words are too fast for her to read, and her mind is still trying to catch up with the fear that had staggered her what feels like only moments ago.
They ask her if she agrees to remain completely silent, and Nill stares at them dumbfounded before nodding, her wings shuddering behind her. Of course she'll stay silent. It's all she can do.
Without much more fuss, Nill is ushered out of the strange room with the strange dirt, left clutching the strange device in her shaking hands as she stands on this strange sandy street. She realizes, suddenly, that she is very much alone. Heine isn't here to protect her, the church is nowhere in sight. She has nowhere to go, doesn't know anyone. She's exposed, an easy target. This jolts her out of her stupor, and Nill begins sprinting down the sand-covered path, looking for anywhere she can hide.]
pale as a ghost in the afternoon [the city]
[Left unsupervised, Nill quickly becomes acclimated and begins to feel safer, so she takes advantage of a freedom she never had in her own world. She doesn't stay inside her assigned housing, instead making her way out to explore the immediate area. The greenhouse and gardens draw her first, as she's never seen so much green in her life. She stares at it all for long periods of time, gently touching plants as if they'll break the moment she does. She marvels up at the huge buildings, which remind her a little of those in the underground with how they've fallen into disrepair.
There's a fountain she likes to sit by, even if there's no water coming out of it. The sound is dangerous, the natives said. The sound would put them all in danger. Still, it's soothing somehow, and she sits for a while almost every day, breathing the air that isn't musty from being sealed up below ground, looking up at the open sky that she'd never gotten a chance to really appreciate before.]
tragedy has a hold of my mind [down the stairs; cw: attempted sexual assault of a minor, gore, death]
[This is the first night since arriving that Nill has had a dream at all, and it's the worst one her mind could ever concoct.
She's in the hotel with Heine, just after he'd realized what she was and that she couldn't speak. Her comforting gesture had only led to nothingshortofa completeand totaldisaster. The shock of it all had been too much, and she'd passed out. When she'd woken up, it had been to a slap, taunting words, and a threat. None of which she hadn't been on the receiving end of before, but they hurt so much more after she'd been so close to freedom. It hadn't been the first time she'd tried to escape Mel's house, but it had been her most successful. She knows that after this, there won'be be any consideration for her monetary value. They'll make sure she doesn't have the opportunity to run again.
He throws her to the worn mattress on the floor, grabs both her wrists in one of his hands and leans in. Bile rises in her throat and she kicks her legs out at him, but he's already reaching down, and there's nothing she can do to stop him--
She wakes to the sound of a gunshot, and she doesn't know if it's in her dream or in reality. Either way, she's drenched in sweat and doesn't want to sleep again. But the next night she falls to bed exhausted, and has the same dream. She wants, so badly, to not need to sleep, fearful that she'll have to go through it again.
But it's different the third time.
Nill doesn't want to open the door, knowing what's on the other side, but she can't help it. Falling is too easy for what's to come, and seems to take forever--but she sees a face, almost familiar. They land in the motel, there's dirt on her hands. She tries not to look at her own terrified face, instead looking to her unknowing companion, blue eyes wide with dread.]
but i can see the light between the lines [wildcard]
[i'm down for just about anything! hit me up on plurk at watchet if you wanna do anything specific!]
Nill | DOGS: BULLETS & CARNAGE
[Fear is a category of emotion with which Nill has extensive experience. Before Heine had saved her, it had been her entire life; after, her existence had still been punctuated by it, but she had at least been able to go about her day-to-day business rather normally. The underground church, though certainly a sanctuary, was still both a blessing and a curse. Bad people knew where to find them, even if the fear of "white hair and eyepatch" generally kept them away. Still, the prickling of panic always reminded her of where she'd come from and where she could end up again.
This kind of fear, however, is on an entirely new level. Had she been able to cry out, she would have--instead, when Nill wakes up in the strange room with the red dirt, her wings flap and she chokes on the dust that clogs her silent throat. Hands grip her arms, hauling her to her feet and towards a light. Fear is overpowering, and she tries to get her legs to move, to rip herself from their grasp and find a place to hide.
Not again, never again, you can't have me, please let me go--
But her limbs won't listen to her pleading thoughts. She's forcibly washed and dressed, and all she can do is try to resist with screaming muscles and stiff wings. Only when she's approached face-to-face, sees eyes that mean no harm and hold even a hint of sympathy, does she finally stop struggling. Partially because she's so caught off guard, and partially because she's simply too tired to keep up the fight.
The mother and child put her at a strange sort of ease, and she blearily watches the woman's arms move, sees that text is appearing on the device she'd been handed. The words are too fast for her to read, and her mind is still trying to catch up with the fear that had staggered her what feels like only moments ago.
They ask her if she agrees to remain completely silent, and Nill stares at them dumbfounded before nodding, her wings shuddering behind her. Of course she'll stay silent. It's all she can do.
Without much more fuss, Nill is ushered out of the strange room with the strange dirt, left clutching the strange device in her shaking hands as she stands on this strange sandy street. She realizes, suddenly, that she is very much alone. Heine isn't here to protect her, the church is nowhere in sight. She has nowhere to go, doesn't know anyone. She's exposed, an easy target. This jolts her out of her stupor, and Nill begins sprinting down the sand-covered path, looking for anywhere she can hide.]
pale as a ghost in the afternoon [the city]
[Left unsupervised, Nill quickly becomes acclimated and begins to feel safer, so she takes advantage of a freedom she never had in her own world. She doesn't stay inside her assigned housing, instead making her way out to explore the immediate area. The greenhouse and gardens draw her first, as she's never seen so much green in her life. She stares at it all for long periods of time, gently touching plants as if they'll break the moment she does. She marvels up at the huge buildings, which remind her a little of those in the underground with how they've fallen into disrepair.
There's a fountain she likes to sit by, even if there's no water coming out of it. The sound is dangerous, the natives said. The sound would put them all in danger. Still, it's soothing somehow, and she sits for a while almost every day, breathing the air that isn't musty from being sealed up below ground, looking up at the open sky that she'd never gotten a chance to really appreciate before.]
tragedy has a hold of my mind [down the stairs; cw: attempted sexual assault of a minor, gore, death]
[This is the first night since arriving that Nill has had a dream at all, and it's the worst one her mind could ever concoct.
She's in the hotel with Heine, just after he'd realized what she was and that she couldn't speak. Her comforting gesture had only led to nothing short of a complete and total disaster. The shock of it all had been too much, and she'd passed out. When she'd woken up, it had been to a slap, taunting words, and a threat. None of which she hadn't been on the receiving end of before, but they hurt so much more after she'd been so close to freedom. It hadn't been the first time she'd tried to escape Mel's house, but it had been her most successful. She knows that after this, there won'be be any consideration for her monetary value. They'll make sure she doesn't have the opportunity to run again.
He throws her to the worn mattress on the floor, grabs both her wrists in one of his hands and leans in. Bile rises in her throat and she kicks her legs out at him, but he's already reaching down, and there's nothing she can do to stop him--
She wakes to the sound of a gunshot, and she doesn't know if it's in her dream or in reality. Either way, she's drenched in sweat and doesn't want to sleep again. But the next night she falls to bed exhausted, and has the same dream. She wants, so badly, to not need to sleep, fearful that she'll have to go through it again.
But it's different the third time.
Nill doesn't want to open the door, knowing what's on the other side, but she can't help it. Falling is too easy for what's to come, and seems to take forever--but she sees a face, almost familiar. They land in the motel, there's dirt on her hands. She tries not to look at her own terrified face, instead looking to her unknowing companion, blue eyes wide with dread.]
but i can see the light between the lines [wildcard]
[i'm down for just about anything! hit me up on plurk at